...but nobody's around to blog about it, did it really happen?
Earlier this week, I received the (breathlessly anticipated) response to my application to become a Weddingbee blogger. Survey says? Reee-jected. Cue the sad trombone!
I took it pretty hard - a lot harder than I thought I would. Going into the application process, I knew that it was seriously competitive, and the chances of being accepted were pretty slim. But still, reading that email? I was crushed. The intensity of my disappointment was really surprising for me, and I decided it was time to take a step back and do some serious thinking about what wedding planning - and blogging about wedding planning - really meant to me.
I think it all comes down to approval. Gaining the approval of my loved ones has been incredibly important to me when making wedding decisions. It's affected everything from picking my colors (navy blue dresses are flattering on everyone!) to choosing to have a Catholic ceremony. I nixed the idea of glittery shoes after an off-hand comment from a bridesmaid about how tacky it was to wear sparkles after the age of fifteen. I decided against a cake topper I loved after my mom told me that it wasn't elegant enough for our venue. Even buying the dress - sure, I liked it, but what really swayed me was the fact that everyone else LOVED it. And those ridiculous tulle ballgowns I tried on? Maybe they weren't terribly flattering... but they made me feel romantic and ethereal and... like a bride. But no one else liked them. So we kept looking.
Being chosen to blog for Weddingbee would have been the ultimate approval, I think, which is probably why I craved it so terribly. A bunch of strangers think your wedding looks awesome and they like your style? Well, then it must be pretty awesome! The proliferation of wedding blogs - and my personal addiction to them - complicates things as well. It's easy to feel like if something isn't documented, written up and shared with strangers, then maybe it just wasn't good enough... and if your wedding doesn't make women all around the country drool and re-pin your photos on Pinterest, then you've pretty much failed your wedding.
But we all know that's not true - plenty of awesome weddings get blogged and plenty of awesome weddings don't, and as long as I end the day married to Mr. M, I haven't failed a thing. After all, weddings are about love, right? And Mr. M will love me even if the favors look like crap, and my mom and dad will love me even if we serve pigs in blankets at the cocktail hour, and my friends will love me in all of my tacky, glitter-heeled glory.
And that love? It's better than anything. Even a ten page spread in Martha Stewart Weddings.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Suit-able
Earlier today, Mr. M and I met up with his best friend (and best man) at our local Men's Wearhouse to get our BOGO on. I'd found a nice medium gray suit online that would work out to be about $160 per groomsman, and all the guys were on board. We just needed to visit the suit in person - and figure out Mr. M and his best man's sizes - before pulling the trigger.
When we got to the mall and announced ourselves at the Wearhouse, the salesman told us that they didn't carry the suit we were looking for in that particular store. Bummer! But with a little bit of coaxing - I think he could tell we weren't going to be buying on the spot - he measured the boys and led us over to the racks to see what else was available.
I pulled a few contenders from the sea of gray suits - one lighter, one darker and one of the Vera Wang tuxedos just in case. The guys tried on the blazers, held up the ties, looked at themselves in the mirror and then looked at me expectantly. And... I went totally blank.
Uh oh, said my brain, I think we're supposed to have an opinion here. Is this our vision? Can you wear that tuxedo without a vest? Would charcoal look better than dove gray? Does this color look good with the ties I just dropped a Benjamin on? Yikes, I don't know! Maybe the salesman does....
"Um... do you think this tie goes with these suits?" I asked him.
"It depends on what kind of look you're going for," he replied.
Okay... I'll take that as a no! After a little bit more brow furrowing (from me) and posing in the mirror (for Mr. M and the best man) we thanked the salesman and left. I trailed behind the guys on the way to the Auntie Anne pretzel stand. All of a sudden, I was feeling really uneasy about this whole planning-your-own-wedding thing. Why did I buy those ties before we bought suits? Why didn't I ask one of my really fashionable guy friends to help me out with this? And how did I get to be thirty-one years old without knowing even the first thing about buying a suit for a man? Maybe I shouldn't have canceled that Cosmo subscription after all...
I started spiraling on the subway ride home. I don't think the blue ties match the blue bridesmaids' dresses at all. What if they don't? And what if the ties don't match the flowers? The ties are so preppy and the flowers are so soft and romantic... they're completely different styles! And the bridesmaids' dresses don't go with my dress! And my shoes won't go with anything! This whole wedding is going to look like I just closed my eyes and pointed at things! Aaaaarrrggh! Damn you, Men's Wearhouse! Damn you and your BOGO sale!
But just as I'd worked myself up into the frothiest bridal froth I'd ever achieved, I stopped for a minute and looked at Mr. M sitting next to me. He hasn't been feeling well lately, but he still managed to drag himself out of the house and into a mall. In the middle of December. For me. Honestly, we could show up at the altar in pajamas and party hats and it would still be the best day of my life. All the rest of the stuff is just details, and it will all work itself out.... right?
(And hopefully, just in time for the next BOGO sale!)
When we got to the mall and announced ourselves at the Wearhouse, the salesman told us that they didn't carry the suit we were looking for in that particular store. Bummer! But with a little bit of coaxing - I think he could tell we weren't going to be buying on the spot - he measured the boys and led us over to the racks to see what else was available.
I pulled a few contenders from the sea of gray suits - one lighter, one darker and one of the Vera Wang tuxedos just in case. The guys tried on the blazers, held up the ties, looked at themselves in the mirror and then looked at me expectantly. And... I went totally blank.
Uh oh, said my brain, I think we're supposed to have an opinion here. Is this our vision? Can you wear that tuxedo without a vest? Would charcoal look better than dove gray? Does this color look good with the ties I just dropped a Benjamin on? Yikes, I don't know! Maybe the salesman does....
"Um... do you think this tie goes with these suits?" I asked him.
"It depends on what kind of look you're going for," he replied.
Okay... I'll take that as a no! After a little bit more brow furrowing (from me) and posing in the mirror (for Mr. M and the best man) we thanked the salesman and left. I trailed behind the guys on the way to the Auntie Anne pretzel stand. All of a sudden, I was feeling really uneasy about this whole planning-your-own-wedding thing. Why did I buy those ties before we bought suits? Why didn't I ask one of my really fashionable guy friends to help me out with this? And how did I get to be thirty-one years old without knowing even the first thing about buying a suit for a man? Maybe I shouldn't have canceled that Cosmo subscription after all...
I started spiraling on the subway ride home. I don't think the blue ties match the blue bridesmaids' dresses at all. What if they don't? And what if the ties don't match the flowers? The ties are so preppy and the flowers are so soft and romantic... they're completely different styles! And the bridesmaids' dresses don't go with my dress! And my shoes won't go with anything! This whole wedding is going to look like I just closed my eyes and pointed at things! Aaaaarrrggh! Damn you, Men's Wearhouse! Damn you and your BOGO sale!
But just as I'd worked myself up into the frothiest bridal froth I'd ever achieved, I stopped for a minute and looked at Mr. M sitting next to me. He hasn't been feeling well lately, but he still managed to drag himself out of the house and into a mall. In the middle of December. For me. Honestly, we could show up at the altar in pajamas and party hats and it would still be the best day of my life. All the rest of the stuff is just details, and it will all work itself out.... right?
(And hopefully, just in time for the next BOGO sale!)
Monday, December 3, 2012
A Wedding (Cake) Story
Last week, a friend of mine texted me out of the blue:
"Got hitched. Reception at my place, Saturday night. You in?"
Impromptu wedding celebration? Hell yeah, I'm in!
"Y'all got a wedding cake yet?" I asked. "Nope," he replied, "Feel free to bring one!"
That was all the excuse I needed. I put down the phone, picked up my coat and hustled over to the cooking supply store to pick up the necessary provisions - fondant, cake boxes and a teeny little flower shaped cookie cutter. I know it's totally crazy, but I have been fighting off this insane impulse to bake my own wedding cake. I know that a last minute DIY project is the last thing I need, and our venue would probably never even go for it, but... I totally want it! And I figured that baking this cake for my friends would probably give me a pretty good idea about whether a DIY wedding cake would be a complete disaster... or maybe not so crazy after all.
On my way home, though, I started to get a little nervous. Though I'm a pretty experienced baker, I've never even tried to pull off a tiered cake before - and my cake decorating skills, though improved through lots of practice, are still not the best. But hey - a free cake is a free cake, and one can only expect so much on twenty-four hour's notice. Besides, I had a feeling there would be enough champagne and good cheer around to make even the cruddiest cake look like Sylvia Weinstock herself decorated it!
One day, two-and-a-half pounds of butter and five zillion rejected fondant flowers later, I unveiled my masterpiece:
Okay, so I'm probably not getting my own Cake Boss-style TV show anytime soon, but it certainly could have been worse! The bride and groom were thrilled and the other guests seemed suitably impressed. Most important, the cake was delicious. I used a Smitten Kitchen recipe for the cake, which was perfect beyond belief - sweet, buttery and dense enough to hold up to stacking. In the interest of saving time, the frosting was a standard butter-and-powdered-sugar buttercream - not the velvety, indulgent French buttercream I usually whip up for cakes, but a whole lot easier to make. Final verdict? I'd call this mission a success... but now I know that I am definitely not up to the task of baking my own wedding cake. It's way too much stress for the week before the wedding - and try as I might, I just couldn't make it look professional enough to satisfy my tastes.
But would I do it again for another friend's elopement? Absolutely. Because getting paid in champagne is all right with me!
"Got hitched. Reception at my place, Saturday night. You in?"
Impromptu wedding celebration? Hell yeah, I'm in!
"Y'all got a wedding cake yet?" I asked. "Nope," he replied, "Feel free to bring one!"
That was all the excuse I needed. I put down the phone, picked up my coat and hustled over to the cooking supply store to pick up the necessary provisions - fondant, cake boxes and a teeny little flower shaped cookie cutter. I know it's totally crazy, but I have been fighting off this insane impulse to bake my own wedding cake. I know that a last minute DIY project is the last thing I need, and our venue would probably never even go for it, but... I totally want it! And I figured that baking this cake for my friends would probably give me a pretty good idea about whether a DIY wedding cake would be a complete disaster... or maybe not so crazy after all.
On my way home, though, I started to get a little nervous. Though I'm a pretty experienced baker, I've never even tried to pull off a tiered cake before - and my cake decorating skills, though improved through lots of practice, are still not the best. But hey - a free cake is a free cake, and one can only expect so much on twenty-four hour's notice. Besides, I had a feeling there would be enough champagne and good cheer around to make even the cruddiest cake look like Sylvia Weinstock herself decorated it!
One day, two-and-a-half pounds of butter and five zillion rejected fondant flowers later, I unveiled my masterpiece:
Okay, so I'm probably not getting my own Cake Boss-style TV show anytime soon, but it certainly could have been worse! The bride and groom were thrilled and the other guests seemed suitably impressed. Most important, the cake was delicious. I used a Smitten Kitchen recipe for the cake, which was perfect beyond belief - sweet, buttery and dense enough to hold up to stacking. In the interest of saving time, the frosting was a standard butter-and-powdered-sugar buttercream - not the velvety, indulgent French buttercream I usually whip up for cakes, but a whole lot easier to make. Final verdict? I'd call this mission a success... but now I know that I am definitely not up to the task of baking my own wedding cake. It's way too much stress for the week before the wedding - and try as I might, I just couldn't make it look professional enough to satisfy my tastes.
But would I do it again for another friend's elopement? Absolutely. Because getting paid in champagne is all right with me!
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